Monthly Archives: January 2013

Having It Both Ways: Will you blow in my…

Having It Both Ways: Will you blow in my…

a drunk date is a bad dateRead more about the having it both ways project here.  And feel free to submit your anonymous dating nightmares by submitting them on my tumblr here.

Since I started this blog I have all of these friends and acquaintances heck even colleagues who come up to me wanting to tell me their insane dating stories.  And let me tell you… these are doozies.  Let me start out with one of my most recent favorites.

A middle aged single woman was approached by a friend and colleague about setting her up with someone that worked with her husband.  Hilarious guy, real life of the party, fun, engaging, hardworking, someone everyone at the company liked who just couldn’t seem to find the right person.  So the woman agrees to it and sets up a date, time, place, to meet the guy for drinks and dinner after work.

She arrives at the restaurant and discovers that he’s been there a few minutes and already had a few drinks waiting.  They start talking and getting to know each other.  Turns out they’re right, the guy is hilarious, but primarily because he’s a drunk!  The dude proceeds to get completely wasted while on the date.  The woman is sitting there shaking her head trying to figure out if the whole thing is a practical joke.

Finally, its over and they’re both leaving.  She’s parked near the door and goes for the car but the guy says that his car is far out in the parking lot and asks if she would mind driving him over.  Reluctantly, she says yes.  Takes him over to the car.  Before he gets out he turns to her and asks, “So.. can I ask you a favor?  Would you mind blowing in my….” and at that point the woman says her mind is racing as to what this guy wants her to blow in.  He uses some technical term about an “ignition interrupter.”  She says confused, “Excuse me?”  He explains that he’s had several DUI’s and has what is basically a breathalyzer on his car that won’t allow it to start if he’s had something to drink.  “I mean, I’ve had a lot to drink tonight, so it’s not going to start, but you haven’t so maybe if you blow in it for me….”  The woman tells him not in a million years.  But offers to call him a cab or take him back over to the restaurant so he could make arrangements for someone to come get him.

She goes to work the next day and calls the friend asking – what on EARTH she was thinking, and it turns out the friend and her husband had NO idea that the guy was a drunk or apparently that he’d had several DUI’s.  I guess this is just proof that no matter how well you think you know someone… you may not ever really KNOW them….

Where there is a flame Someone’s bound to get burned

Where there is a flame Someone’s bound to get burned

 

Where there is desire
There is gonna be a flame
Where there is a flame
Someone’s bound to get burned
But just because it burns
Doesn’t mean you’re gonna die
You’ve gotta get up and try try try

You deserve to be in a situation where you don’t have to compartmentalize who you are. Where you can be valued for every part from flaws to fetishes and everything in between. You deserve to have it all at least once in your life.

We never know when it’s all going to be over. When the bus turns suddenly not seeing the biker or the ex boyfriend turns violent or the black ice sends us into oncoming traffic. It has happened over and over in my life and one thing I’ve learned is that regardless of who is holding our hand, we all walk through the emergency exit of life alone, with only our memories, our joys, our love for others, and our knowledge, adventures and experiences to accompany us. You deserve to have the chance to have everything you’ve always desired at some point before the end. We all do. And providing you with a small piece of it provides me with a small piece too.

I don’t want it to end. Despite my poor behavior and harsh words, I value you too much to let go when I’ve only just discovered you. But if you say no, I can understand and respect that. If you want to take some time, I will give you space.

With great affection, and hope for a new beginning.