Editor’s Note: Gay on the Plains is a new section for the Having It Both Ways project that talks about a beautiful wonderful dear friend and his own dating adventures – but this time on the mid coast. ENJOY!
I don’t know how it happened. I woke up one morning and my twentys were gone. And they’d been gone a while. It’s okay, though, because I spent them working on building just the kind of life I want to live, and everything is awesome now. Wait, what? That’s not what happened at all? So now I’m a 33 year old single gay man in the plains states; recently separated and totally clueless on how to proceed? Well… what the hell, fate?
The quick and dirty life story is that I have repeatedly raced into long term relationships, and then, a year or so later, I find myself totally invested, and mostly miserable. Determined to be a beacon of a healthy and happy gay relationship for my mid-western neighbors to marvel at, I put on a brave face, I tell myself that everything is great, and I press on. Until, over the course of a few years, we gradually come to despise one another; or worse, to simply ignore each other.
And so, my adult life to date has been spent in three serious relationships. Over the last 15 years I have spent part of 2004 and part of 2009 single. That’s it. Having made this realization, dear reader, I’d like to invite you to take a journey with me. Over the next year, or more, I’m going to do some introspection. I’m going to focus on aspects of my life other than being one half of a couple. Personal growth, career growth and building connections to my community are all goals for this year. Finding a husband is not on the list.
That’s not to say I won’t someday find the man of my dreams, and marry him, buy a big house and adopt a hundred babies from all around the world. That could happen. Just, not this year. Not today. It’s neither my goal nor my focus.
“But, PrairieGay, if you’re not looking for a relationship, then…what are you doing on this dating-focused blog? Is this gonna be some kind of Eat, Pray, Love BS? Because that’s really not what I’m here for,” you may be thinking.
Well I never said there wouldn’t be dating. I intend to go on LOTS of dates. I intend to meet all the eligible bachelors (and probably my fair share of ineligible ones as well) and have dinner, get cocktails, go dancing maybe. From time to time a lucky gentleman suitor may even be invited to come upstairs and look at the etchings. (I have an excellent and extensive collection of etchings).
I’ve only just dipped my toe into the pool of datable (and undatable) men of the high plains, and already I have so much to tell you about. Stories of excitement and heartbreak. Of new friends and old flames. Of new ways of meeting and communicating that I could never have even imagined the last time I was single.
It’s a pleasure to meet you, I’m the Prairie Gay, and we have so much to talk about!